I am

I'm afraid

Of what the future may bring

Of what my future would be

I'm not ready

To take care of so many things

To take care of somebody else but me

I'm lost

Of what I should be doing

Of where I should be going

I know

I want to be happy

I want me and a family

Resentment

I wish I could believe youThen I'll be alrightBut now everything they told meReally don't apply

To the way I feel insideLoving you was easy once upon a timeBut now my suspicions of you are multiplyingAnd it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time'Cause I can't go on and pretend likeI haven't tried to forgive thisBut I'm much too full of resentment

Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt meDon't know how you gave anotherDidn't mean a thing, noThe very thing you gave to me

I thought I could forgive youAnd I know you've changedAs much as I wanna trust youI know it ain't the sameAnd it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time'Cause I can't go on and pretend likeI haven't tried to forgive thisBut I'm much too full of resentment

I may never understand whyI'm doing the best that I can, and II tried and I tried to forgive thisAnd I'm much too full of resentment

I'll always remember feelingLike I was no good
Like I couldn't do it for youAnd your mistress couldAnd it's all because you lied

Loved you more than everMore than my own lifeThe best part of me I gave youYeah, I would sacrificeAnd it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time'Cause I can't go on and pretend likeI tried and I tried to forgive thisBut I'm damn too full of resentment

I know she was attractiveBut I was here firstBeen riding with you for six yearsWhy did I deserveTo be treated this way by you, you?

I know you're probably thinkingWhat's up with B?I've been crying for too longWhat did you do to me?

I used to be so strongBut now you took my soulI'm crying, can't stop cryingCan't stop crying

You could've told me you wasn't happyI know you didn't want to hurt meLook what you've done to me nowI gotta look at her in her eyesAnd see she's had half of meHow could you lie?

Jangan.

Provokasi fitnah perosak minda,

Minda tercemar aksi durjana,

Durjana merosak iman di dada,

Dada sesak menahan bahana.

Bahana pentingkan diri sendiri,

Sendiri menjual maruah dan akhlak,

Akhlak merudum niat pun lari,

Lari mengelak balasannya kelak.

Kelak kau terima hasil usahamu,

Usahamu yang tiada membawa manfaat,

Manfaat kejayaan yang tiada bertemu,

Bertemu amalmu di hari akhirat.

Sudah.

Dikejutkan ku lagi,

Nada sinis tak terperi,

Tentang niat kau yang berbagi,

Tentang hilang petimbangan diri.

Kau kini mudah melatah,

Bila ditegur bila dicegah,

Jangan biar maruah diratah,

Jangan hanya dibilang megah.

Kau kini mudah lupa,

Pernah disebut pernah dikata,

Sudahlah lupa kini kau alpa,

Sudahlah miskin berangan berharta.

Kini semakin bodoh kau jadi,

Salahkan cerita direka dicipta,

Itulah amal kau bawa semadi,

Itulah pesan buat ku, buat kau…buat kita.

Kini kita punya masa,

Mengubah khilaf sembunyi dan nyata,

Perbetulkan semua sebelum binasa,

Perbetulkan khilaf telinga, mulut dan mata.

Melayu

Kau Melayu, Aku Melayu.
Kau menipu, Aku tertipu.

Aku Melayu, Kau Melayu.
Kini kumalu, hinanya akhlakmu.

Kau Melayu, Aku Melayu.
Kau menyatu, Aku bersatu.

Aku Melayu, Kau Melayu.
Bersihkan namamu, Sucikan jiwamu.

- Penghujung April. Selasa. 9.36pagi

Nukilan Hati

Terkadang aku tak sedar,

Terkadang aku tak dengar, 

Terkadang aku tak endah, 

Kehidupan yang begitu indah.

Ku tahu Dia mampu, 

Ku tahu Dia tahu, 

Ku tahu Dia penentu, 

Maju mundur masa depanku.

Pernah juga aku tersasar, 

Pernah juga aku tersadar, 

Pernah juga aku terdampar, 

Diuji diduga berhati gusar.

Biarkan waktu merakam masa, 

Biarkan bunyi merakam suara,

Biarkan hati merakam rasa, 

Luahan hati Si Insan Biasa.

Sakit Pedih telah kurasa, 

Penat Lelah telah kuterima, 

Pahit Perit kutelankan jua, 

Menyambung hayat kurnia oleh-Nya.

Bersuara kembali

Terimanya aku bukan dibayar, 

Terima dengan adanya fakta.

Tolaknya aku bukan dipaksa, 

Tolak dengan ilmu didada.

Memilihnya aku bukan membuta, 

Memilih dengan harapan yang nyata.

Majunya kita bukan kerana harta, 

Majunya dengan janji dikota.

Ralit, leka, terlalai, terlena,

Gentar, resah, risau, gelisah,

Maju, berkembang, mara, membara, 

Muafakat, bersatu, sepakat, sepadu. 

Mungkin..tapi. Aku dah sedar..

Mungkin aku tak berpihak, 
Mungkin aku tak menolak, 
Mungkin aku tak mendesak, 
Tapi aku perlu bertindak.

Mungkin kau bukan meminta,
Mungkin kau bukan menghina,
Mungkin kau bukan berdusta,
Tapi kau masih terlena.

Aku punya maruah,
Harap engkau juga begitu,
Aku memilih tanpa amarah,
Demi masyarakat yang lebih bersatu.

Dijual beli maruah kita,
Dibayar tinggi tak disangka-sangka,
Mungkin sementara semata-mata,
Bangkit dan sedar jangan kau terleka.

Aku kini sedar aku harus memilih. Bukan kerana benci, bukan kerana marah.
Aku kini sedar apa itu tanggungjawab. Bukan kerana terpaksa, bukan kerana dipaksa.
Aku kini sedar siapa bermulut hina. Bukan kerana fakta, bukan kerana auta.
Aku kini sedar ramai pengikut setia. Menolak segala yang benar, terima segala didengar.

I wanna sing, I wanna shout

You've got the words to change a nationbut you're biting your tongueYou've spent a life time stuck in silenceafraid you'll say something wrongIf no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?So come, on come onCome on, come onYou've got a heart as loud as lionsSo why let your voice be tamed?Baby we're a little differentthere's no need to be ashamedYou've got the light to fight the shadowsso stop hiding it awayCome on, Come on

c/o

I wanna sing, I wanna shoutI wanna scream till the words dry outso put it in all of the papers,i'm not afraidthey can read all about itread all about it ohoh-oh-ohoh-oh-ohoh-oh-ohoh-oh-ohoh-oh-ohoh-oh-oh
At night we're waking up the neighbourswhile we sing away the bluesmaking sure that we remember yeahcause we all matter tooif the truth has been forbiddenthen we're breaking all the rulesso come on, come oncome on, come on,lets get the tv and the radioto play our tune againits 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of eventsthere's no need to be afraidi will sing with you my friendCome on, come on
Repeat c/o
Yeah we're all wonderful, wonderful peopleso when did we all get so fearful?Now we're finally finding our voicesso take a chance, come help me sing thisYeah we're all wonderful, wonderful peopleso when did we all get so fearful?and now we're finally finding our voicesso take a chance, come help me sing this
Repeat c/o

I wanna sing, I wanna shoutI wanna scream till the words dry outso put it in all of the papers,i'm not afraidthey can read all about itread all about it oh

Read all about it

Suara Selingan

Gelap,

Resah, 

Mencari, 

Menanti.

Usah dipaksa,

Hatimu kan mati.

Syukur,

Rela,

Pasrah dan Redha,

Usaha berjaya,

Karna Iman di dada.

Lihat,

Pandang,

Dengar,

Rasa.

Indah suara,

Berkata, mengata.

Jika,

Kalau,

Mungkin tak yakin.

Pulang kau segera,

Baca lah semula.

Here I am.

I fee like its been years since i last post anything. Well writing is not exactly my thing. LOL. Anyway, there were so many things happened throughout my disappearance. Some are good and some are slightly horrendous. All in all, its apart of me and I thank god for the chance to go through such life. Well, at least I'll be more prepared for such incidents in the future.

Will be writing more soon. Adios Amigos!

iCrap

Pernah jua aku nyatakan di ruang karya seni aku, "Gelagat manusia itu lucu, bisa berubah mengikut waktu". Maksudku mudah. Bukanlah tatkala waktu itu berubah, Sang Insan berubah. Namun, dengan perubahan masa itu, manusia bisa bertukar darinya yang dulu seorang yang ceria kepada seorang insan yang sering gundah gulana. Mengertikah manusia ini yang sebenarnya dunia ini bukanlah hanya didiami kau sahaja. Sahabat rakan dan juga teman, pendengar setia peneman bicara. Apa semua itu hanya kata-kata?


Karya tak seberapa ini bukanlah bertujuan merungsingkan fikiran mahupun mengguris hati sesiapa. Namun, tujuanku, inginku, hendakku menyedarkan Kau manusia bahawa dunia tak sentiasa indah...tapi mengapa sering kau lihat ketidak indahan itu? Mengapa kau fokus, tenung, asyik memikirkan nasib dengan kecelakaan yang menimpa. 


Aku juga manusia biasa. Aku bernafas seperti kamu, bukan dengan kulit mahupun insang. Hidung ini lah yang membantuku menyedut udara kotor, berhabuk tetapi bertujuan membuat paru-paruku berfungsi membekalkan oksigen untuk tubuhku. Tapi, pemikiranku agak lain. Aku melihat sesuatu mungkin dari sudut yang kadang Kau tak sedar akan kewujudannya. Kata orang barat, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Ada hikmahnya sesuatu itu berlaku. Dan ketika Kau memutuskan bahawa dunia xlagi menyiksakan, maka dengan itu kehidupan kau kan lebih bahgia, mulia dan penuh bermakna.


Aku dikejutkan pemikiranku. Lamunan aku dihentikan dengan karya seorang teman, teman yang istimewa bagiku. katanya, "Manusia diciptakan dengan berbagai-bagai rupa dan character...Tetapi disebabkan character setiap seorang itu berbeza dan mungkin begitu complicated untuk memahami jiwa raga orang yang berkenaan, membuatkan pihak yang satu lagi ini terasa. ...Bukan tidak cuba untuk memahami. Bukan tidak memberi ruang....Bukan mementingkan si abu daripada si ali. Bukan tidak cuba bergelak ketawa. Bukan itu. Bukan ini. Tetapi itulah yang disebutkan perangai seseorang kadang-kadang boleh membuatkan hati-hati kecil insan yang bernama manusia hancur" Membaca karya tersebut, aku setuju. benar manusia ini berbeza. Dan perbezaan itulah yang menjadikan kehidupan ini indah. Bayangkan betapa bosan dan monotonousnya kehidupan tanpa kacau bilau. Tanpa cerita untu dikongsi, atau masalah untuk diselesaikan. Maka tak perlulah wujudnya  Sherlock Holmes, Paparazzi, United Nations atau ruangan berita tergempar. 


Bukan. Aku bukan mentayakan perkara sia-sia. Aku bukan merepek. Cuma, aku mengatakan dengan cara yang lain. Lihatlah dunia dari sudut yang positif. Be a positive thinker. Mungkin kau tak mampu menerimanya sekarang, namun tatkala dunia mula meletakkan kau didalam sebuah balang kaca yang sekilingnya dinyalakan api kemarahan, yang ditepinya dipenuhkan dengan  semua perkara yang kau benci, berhentilah seketika. Tenangkan fikiran...fikirkanlah sejenak. Apa yang kau rasa? Apa? Apa? Benar, Sekurang-kurangnya, kau di dalam balang kaca itu. As much as you hate to be in that jar, be grateful enough that you are not out there. Having to be around the things that make you even more uncomfortable. Be An Optimist! Enjoy life but live life accordingly...


before i go on crapping about more things. I might as well just stop and end it with the quote i love..."You are what you think you are and you are The Person who will get you kill or be killed."


_end_

Words..My words

it started when you have nothing to say,

and i'll be the one who starts it all,

but when u wanted me to stay, 

i know i wont experience The Fall.

sometimes they would just blurted out,

and you know i didnt mean a thing, 

but you're still mad of what its about,

cause to you its really one BIG thing.

for all those tears i made you cry,

are the sins i cant never deny, 

for this i promise i will try, 

to be the best till the day i die.

for many things that i have done,

never i asked for anything, 

for all those words that are said and done, 

means a lot to me..means everything.

i thank you my love for being there, 

when there are things i just couldn't bear, 

i thank you again for always care,

to hear my whines when life's unfair.

for quite sometimes i've been with you, 

never did i felt so in love,

for now i know its you and only you, 

that'll always forever be my love.

<12.44a.m>

KNAPE ek?

malasnye lah nk berblogging. its not like anyone follow this blog of mine. identity? lets not talk about that. sme org dok sebok ckp, blog yang menarik ade identitty sendiri. some may put pictures to tell the stories of their lives. so may put short novels to show off their talents. and some may just blab about almost everything to express their feelings from day to day. as for me? i write when i feel like writing.

masalahnye, knp orang blogging? knape org menulis setiap hari? kenapa orang ade je bende nk update? well, kalau the blog is about things that matter to everyone; politic, gossips, or current issue, then aku paham la jugak...then again, sme itu hak masing2 n i have no righhts to offend anyone. *kau xske blogging org kne suffer the consequences lah?* o_O

hmm, tapi to be honest, i like reading other people's blog. some of those i've read really got me reading the whole post...even of those that are way months back. how did this whole blogging trend come about? not that i want to explore or anything, but just being curious here. question, its already asked; answers, yet to be given. till then...ciao!

Going Up?

the experience was superb! it was super awesome if i might say. despite the fact that my whole body is literally aching right now, i enjoyed every moments of it. although  Ayie and i were firtstimers, we really did learn fast and start climbing like a pro. well, not really but almost there tho. hahhah. here are some pictures of my greatest experience ever which is currently being my new addiction in life. 

*thanx to my Love a.k.a Liyana Adib for the great pix~

Language yg Rusak~

jatuh bangun itu biasa.

sakit hati itu berbisa.

jangan kau bertindak mengikut rasa,

orang kata nanti binasa.

fair is a word for the optimists,

who see the world with a clearer view,

no one could change the things in your life,

no one, no man except you.

manusia itu sering terlupa.

manusia itu sering tertanya.

tapi mengapa kita terlupa?

itulah ketika kita bertanya.

i say i would have it all.

a courage to achieve the greatest of all.

but we will not always stand so tall.

cause one day we will feel the fall.

gelagat manusia itu lucu.

mampu berubah mengikut waktu.

mengapa kita tak tetap menjadi satu?

atau kita memang begitu?

i see, i saw what i have seen.

the world i live is full on sins.

to change the thing of what its been,

like taking an old man back to his teens.

Twenty-2gether with them~

15th day of the first month of a year after 1987 marked a very important day to Mohd Harith and Ruzita. A small young baby boy was born. well, that was 22 years back. now, despite all the things this son of the two happy couple went through, he'll just keep on working his way up to the tip of the highest goal in his life.

turning 22 for me is so not like every other birthdays. its like having someone whispers in your ears, telling you that you're no longer a boy but a young man. starting from that moment on, i felt like there will be a tremendous responsibilities waiting for me. never was i scared but rather worried. although i've been telling people, 22 is just 21 plus 1, but FYI u guys, it so does not work that way. hahaha. then again, the honor of getting my parents to trust me and all is just great. i don't know for what specific reasons but, all this while, i have been "kept" at home. coming back late was a big No-No..but now, slowly, they finally realized that, i am no longer their small young kid. i'm old enough to even get married..but...that will not be this soon though. hahha. honestly, i'm out of ideas..so, writing won't really help. i think i'd better stop before turning this post into the worst post in blogging history. LOL!

here are some photos with those VIPs (very important people) in my life. i dedicate this post to all of u guys..thanks a lot for the so called birthday celebration. haha. but seriously, thanks a lot u guys~

to liyana: i've loved you once, i'v loved you twice,

things are just sarting to get nice.

but i hope this is how our stories will end,

will forever love u my love, my soulmate and my bestfriend!

to hakim: thanks for being such a great bro...you're always

be the brother i've never had..and i love you for that.

to ayie: going through so many things with a buddy like you have really made me such a mature person (well in the inside dt is..LOL).

to elvie: i wish the relationship between my bro and you will stay strong

and we'll always be the best of friend.

to nanaS: we've been friends, duet partners, parted and now back again being friends. i wish, that will just be the end of it...friends for life babe~

to fyqa: although you weren't there, but somehow you're still always with us dear..